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| 0:00 | - Welcome to the 31st annual car Olympics. |
| 0:02 | Today's car sports include soccer, |
| 0:06 | tag. |
| 0:09 | Boxing. |
| 0:11 | And my favorite hot dog eating. |
| 0:13 | The car has one minute to eat all these hot dogs, |
| 0:16 | let's see if he can do it. |
| 0:17 | Go, go, go. |
| 0:22 | Wow, that's a new world record, |
| 0:25 | under six seconds he ate all the hot dogs. |
| 0:28 | Good job. |
| 0:29 | Our next sport and the most difficult one for car is chess, |
| 0:32 | their engine struggle a little bit to process plays. |
| 0:36 | Your move. |
| 0:39 | Wow, that was very smart. |
| 0:41 | Well, I bet you didn't see this coming. |
| 0:46 | Huh, I beat you, I'm the last man standing. |
| 0:53 | Dude, cars are such sore losers man. |
| 0:56 | At least when a speaker loses in chess, |
| 0:58 | it doesn't throw a fit. |
| 0:59 | Our third event is cycling, |
| 1:01 | which cars have tires, bikes have tires, it's a great combo. |
| 1:04 | - It's basic math. |
| 1:08 | - Wow, he was so close to getting on it. |
| 1:10 | - He was almost like Lance Armstrong. |
| 1:12 | - Dude I think he forgot the steroids. |
| 1:14 | Our fourth event is car pool, |
| 1:15 | and in case you're ignorant cars play pool with hot dogs. |
| 1:20 | Wow, I did not see that coming. |
| 1:25 | No. |
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